(2) Eyes Opened Wide

The day her eyes opened for the first time on Paradiso was the last day Anjeliqua consciously thought of Inbetween and the Majester. It wasn't that she would forget them entirely, just that the imminence of her sensations and the events in this new life would bury them somewhere deep inside her. The Experiencer part would become dominant. Even so, between waking and sleep, the Observer would sometimes remind her of herself, of the Majester and of Inbetween.

The day before she opened her eyes she had begun to get restless and frustrated at not being able to see her surroundings. Her mother often left her alone and she was the only kitten. She had strained her ears and could make out faint rustlings and thrubbings that seemed muted and far away. She could smell differences in the air just before her mother returned to her, and feel periods of coolness and warmth through the fur covering her body that were probably related to periods of daylight and nighttime. She had begun to call the mother, Mother, in her mind, which at first had reminded her, with a pang, of her first and human mother.

She had wondered if she would find any other incarnated humans on this planet. Anjeliqua had only found two others among the animals of her past four lives - a male wolf and the bird that had eaten her when she'd been a moth. She shivered to remember it - the realization just before the end that behind the devouring beak and beady eyes was a human soul like hers was awful to her. She had called out to it, but it was too late - she had felt the bird's shocked regret the instant before darkness descended. Well, she'd reminded herself, in this world she would be doing the devouring, although she would remember to ask her prey before eating them if they were human.

She hoped that her difference from the other life forms here would not cause problems as it had done occassionally in her past incarnations. The other organisms often sensed it - the moths had noticed right away and had rejected her. Anjeliqua figured, in retrospect, that she should've known better, after all, moths rely so heavily on pheromes for communication, of course they'd notice her difference right away.

She had often wished that she had been like the other animals, without an Observer. Not having an Observer seemed an advantage to Anjeliqua - some of the wisest individuals she had encountered were animals, unhindered by the Observer's thoughts of self and eternity. Anjeliqua had sighed with the futility of wishing such things.


Anyway, the day her eyes opened for the first time she had again been awakened by a bad dream. They would continue throughout her stay on Paradiso, their familiarity, derived as they were from remembered elements of prior lives, would remind her that she was ever and forever different, even when her Experiencer tried to dismiss them as random images. Today her mewling sounds of fear drew Mother to her and brought again the comfort of licking tongue and sweet milk. But today, after her breakfast, when Mother's tongue began cleaning her face, it ended up licking open her eyes.

Anjeliqua blinked repeatedly. Though the light was filtered through an atmosphere that seemed almost liquid, it still dazzled her. She looked up into her Mother's face and saw three eyes fixing her with a kindly stare. A short rumble of Hello accompanied the welcoming gaze. The face had a cat's shape, the nose and mouth were similar to a house cat's, two ears, larger and set a little lower on the head. The third eye sat between the two ears. Whiskers not only covered the snout, but also extended around the sides and top of the head looking much like a bonnet-shaped halo due to the diffuse light emanating from somewhere behind Mother's head.

Anjeliqua looked around her in wonder. The light seemed to dance and shimmer as it shone on the ground beside her and she was reminded of light travelling through water. She and her Mother were in a cozy den, the floor lined by some sort of greenish fur, the walls smoothed out and glistening like polished stone. She looked again at her mother and noticed that her fur was long and a most lovely shade of emerald green, along her back and the length of her tail were many small purple spots, reminiscent of leopard's spots, thought Anjeliqua. The tail itself was twice as long as an earth cat's, it curled and uncurled expressively as the mother regarded her new offspring. A flood of fond gratefulness engulfed Anjeliqua and was immediately expressed with the now familiar thrumming as she waddled forward to bury her face between her mother's front paws.