Exhaustion and the belated terror of almost being pulled into the hot river by those horrid writhing arms leant Anjeliqua's sleep a restless and watchful quality, drawing sounds and images from her other incarnations into her mind.
Blinding whiteness, cold, as burning as the cloying river, howlings, faint shapes emerging from the whiteness then, as quickly, submerged within it. Anjeliqua felt anxious. She must do something. Others relied on her. What was it they wanted of her? And then it was there, or rather they were there, huge forms rushing at her all at once. Caribou. Yes, now she remembered. She must jump up in front of all that thundering herd and frighten them into passing to her right where her pack was waiting to make the kill. It all came flooding back.
Fear woke Anjeliqua. It was still dark in the den, she was mewling pitifully. Mother nosed at her, satisfied that she was OK, gave a half-hearted lick and returned to sleep. Anjeliqua, caught in an inbetween time, could not keep the images from that other life from swirling into her mind.
She had been terrified and had cringed instead of lept. She shrunk down behind the rock, making herself as small as a young wolf can and letting the herd escape. And afterward, hunger and shame before the pack. Before her parents, the other yearlings. It sealed her destiny, that of a secondary wolf in the pack, not allowed to mate, subservient to the end of her days to the alphas. Always the last to eat. Anjeliqua blamed her Observer for her cowardice, and wished she were like the others.
But Pip understood. Pip, the other incarnated being. He was her litter mate - how strange to have found him. He had been on the path, as he called it, for many, many lives. Maybe this would be his last, he seemed hopeful at this - curious, Anjeliqua had thought. She had whimpered when he had had to leave, not long after her failed hunt. He was a grown wolf and had to find himself a mate. Desolation left her unable to hunt with the others - she grew weak and her coat matted. She never fully recovered, enduring long dreary years. The cycles of her seasons had played themselves out in a rocky, flat land. She had welcomed death.
The Majester had not been pleased about that. But she couldn't help it, she'd tried to explain it, to justify her actions. Oddly, the more she protested, the fainter the Majester became, until he was as insubstantial as smoke and dissipated into the air, leaving behind only the wispy smell of puzzlement. Anjeliqua did not see the Majester again until her next incarnation was over. That had been the whale.
All these disturbing thoughts - Anjeliqua was almost awake enough to wish she didn't have them. Before she could actually frame the thoughts, her Experiencer came to the rescue with a physical tiredness so overwhelming that she fell soundly asleep without understanding.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
(4) Food
Daily Anjeliqua felt herself strengthen, within a week of her first outing she was able to clamber out of the den without her mother's help. Her experience with the Ulxtds had made her cautious so she did not leave without Mother. Restive, Mother's absences were torturous and her sweet liquid was less filling. So, Anjeliqua was thrilled when, one day, after Wy, the first sun, had set, and Dwy, the second sun, was past its zenith, Mother indicated that she should accompany her on an outing.
Once out of the den, Mother turned and sat back on her haunches, closed her two eyes and looked intently at Anjeliqua, "Many dangers, stay close, do not wander, we look for food."
Anjeliqua, barely able to contain her excitement, met her mother's gaze - "Yes, I am ready, I understand." Her tail betrayed her mood and whipped furiously behind her.
Amused, but satisfied with her response, Mother, nodded assent and turned to communicate with the Guardian. Anjeliqua padded up and sat beside her, trying to make out the conversation. Words she still did not understand passed between them, Lwold, Pzadl, Cwilz, Psft. She supposed they were names of prey or, and she shuddered, other Eaters, like the Ulxtds. Mother bowed slightly, her tail lightly touching the dwyld's trunk, signaling her thanks. Anjeliqua, did the same and felt the Guardian's good intentions envelop her.
Off they went, weaving their way past the sea anemone swyllm. Anjeliqua had learned early on to be careful, even the small ones stung you if you stepped on it. Happily she followed Mother over the edge and onto one of the paths worn a lighter brown in the moss like ground cover. Soon they were descending into the valley.
The air in here was thicker, and it was hotter. They wended their way through stands of ulxtd none of which were as tall as the guardian, still Anjeliqua could sense their whisperings as she and Mother passed through. There were small clumps of swyllm and outcroppings of the coral-like dwyld as well as other creatures moving between them. Groups of irridescent shelled things with many stilleto like feet skittered in unison, separating like a sea around her. She had to jump to one side when a single pink ball almost her size rolled in front of her across the path. It's surface, when she nosed it, felt smooth and rubbery. At her touch, it quivered and a yellow rod shot out to push itself out of her way and send it careening into a stand of ulxtd.
Mother blocked her path, and looked at her with the third eye, "Dangerous - no touching strange things!"
Anjeliqua put on a cowed look, then questioning, "What was it?"
"Psft - not dangerous, but might have been. This side of river, safer. Other side very dangerous."
As Dwy's ray's lengthened, the valley cooled slightly, and they came to the side of the emerald green river. Growing along the banks grew tall stalks, like bull rushes. The tallest heads waved four meters above them, five to ten stalks of lesser heights grew from the same spot in the ground. Mother nodded to Anjeliqua to sit and watch.
"Food" she said simply then lept high into the air grasping the tallest stalk half way up, her weight bending it over so the head touched the ground. Gingerly, Mother walked her way to the head. Close up it looked like an orange sack. Mother, bit into it and a deeper orange liquid oozed out which she began to lap up. "Lwold", Mother looked, and nodded to Anjeliqua who bounded over curiously. Copying her mother, she began lapping up the oozing juice.
It was cool and sweet and filling. Anjeliqua was full after the first one, but Mother caught two more to finish her own feeding while Anjeliqua lazed on the bank. It was still warm and the idea of immersing herself in the liquid below her came from a distant memory. Without thinking further she clambered down to the river's edge and put a paw into the liquid streaming past.
Immediately she withdrew it for it was hot and cloying, like tar. She tried to flick it off, but found that green droplets of it clung to her fur, dissolving it and burning holes in her skin. Mewling in pain she did not notice the eel like arms that reached out of the water in the spot where she had broken its surface. One encircled her right fore paw and would have dragged her into the searing liquid stream if Mother had not picked her up by the scruff of her neck and wrested her away.
Mother gave her a good shaking, then flung her down. "Do not move!" she ordered, turned and began to dig furiously. Once she'd accumulated a pile of fine greenish brown dirt, Mother grabbed Anjeliqua and flung her into the hole, covering her body with the fine dirt. Shocked, but motionless, Anjeliqua began to relax and stopped mewling as the dirt's properties eased the burning.
It was dark as they wended their way back to the den. Mother made Anjeliqua follow the path ahead of her, nosing her often as she began to slow her pace. "Hurry" was all she'd say, slacking the pace only when they had breasted the rise where the Guardian stood. They paused before it, Anjeliqua sensing Mother's relief and the dwyld's kindly reproach, as though it knew already all that had happened to her.
Breathless, they collapsed on the den floor. Mother then proceeded to lecture her about her carelessness, growling at her and nipping her frequently to emphasize the point. Anjeliqua was duly repentent, mewling and trying to touch Mother's paw, until finally Mother relented and began to lick Anjeliqua's burnt skin. Finally, exhausted, sore and forgiven, Anjeliqua nestled into Mother and fell into a fitful sleep.
Once out of the den, Mother turned and sat back on her haunches, closed her two eyes and looked intently at Anjeliqua, "Many dangers, stay close, do not wander, we look for food."
Anjeliqua, barely able to contain her excitement, met her mother's gaze - "Yes, I am ready, I understand." Her tail betrayed her mood and whipped furiously behind her.
Amused, but satisfied with her response, Mother, nodded assent and turned to communicate with the Guardian. Anjeliqua padded up and sat beside her, trying to make out the conversation. Words she still did not understand passed between them, Lwold, Pzadl, Cwilz, Psft. She supposed they were names of prey or, and she shuddered, other Eaters, like the Ulxtds. Mother bowed slightly, her tail lightly touching the dwyld's trunk, signaling her thanks. Anjeliqua, did the same and felt the Guardian's good intentions envelop her.
Off they went, weaving their way past the sea anemone swyllm. Anjeliqua had learned early on to be careful, even the small ones stung you if you stepped on it. Happily she followed Mother over the edge and onto one of the paths worn a lighter brown in the moss like ground cover. Soon they were descending into the valley.
The air in here was thicker, and it was hotter. They wended their way through stands of ulxtd none of which were as tall as the guardian, still Anjeliqua could sense their whisperings as she and Mother passed through. There were small clumps of swyllm and outcroppings of the coral-like dwyld as well as other creatures moving between them. Groups of irridescent shelled things with many stilleto like feet skittered in unison, separating like a sea around her. She had to jump to one side when a single pink ball almost her size rolled in front of her across the path. It's surface, when she nosed it, felt smooth and rubbery. At her touch, it quivered and a yellow rod shot out to push itself out of her way and send it careening into a stand of ulxtd.
Mother blocked her path, and looked at her with the third eye, "Dangerous - no touching strange things!"
Anjeliqua put on a cowed look, then questioning, "What was it?"
"Psft - not dangerous, but might have been. This side of river, safer. Other side very dangerous."
As Dwy's ray's lengthened, the valley cooled slightly, and they came to the side of the emerald green river. Growing along the banks grew tall stalks, like bull rushes. The tallest heads waved four meters above them, five to ten stalks of lesser heights grew from the same spot in the ground. Mother nodded to Anjeliqua to sit and watch.
"Food" she said simply then lept high into the air grasping the tallest stalk half way up, her weight bending it over so the head touched the ground. Gingerly, Mother walked her way to the head. Close up it looked like an orange sack. Mother, bit into it and a deeper orange liquid oozed out which she began to lap up. "Lwold", Mother looked, and nodded to Anjeliqua who bounded over curiously. Copying her mother, she began lapping up the oozing juice.
It was cool and sweet and filling. Anjeliqua was full after the first one, but Mother caught two more to finish her own feeding while Anjeliqua lazed on the bank. It was still warm and the idea of immersing herself in the liquid below her came from a distant memory. Without thinking further she clambered down to the river's edge and put a paw into the liquid streaming past.
Immediately she withdrew it for it was hot and cloying, like tar. She tried to flick it off, but found that green droplets of it clung to her fur, dissolving it and burning holes in her skin. Mewling in pain she did not notice the eel like arms that reached out of the water in the spot where she had broken its surface. One encircled her right fore paw and would have dragged her into the searing liquid stream if Mother had not picked her up by the scruff of her neck and wrested her away.
Mother gave her a good shaking, then flung her down. "Do not move!" she ordered, turned and began to dig furiously. Once she'd accumulated a pile of fine greenish brown dirt, Mother grabbed Anjeliqua and flung her into the hole, covering her body with the fine dirt. Shocked, but motionless, Anjeliqua began to relax and stopped mewling as the dirt's properties eased the burning.
It was dark as they wended their way back to the den. Mother made Anjeliqua follow the path ahead of her, nosing her often as she began to slow her pace. "Hurry" was all she'd say, slacking the pace only when they had breasted the rise where the Guardian stood. They paused before it, Anjeliqua sensing Mother's relief and the dwyld's kindly reproach, as though it knew already all that had happened to her.
Breathless, they collapsed on the den floor. Mother then proceeded to lecture her about her carelessness, growling at her and nipping her frequently to emphasize the point. Anjeliqua was duly repentent, mewling and trying to touch Mother's paw, until finally Mother relented and began to lick Anjeliqua's burnt skin. Finally, exhausted, sore and forgiven, Anjeliqua nestled into Mother and fell into a fitful sleep.
Monday, January 12, 2009
(3) First Outing
Three days after Anjeliqua had opened her eyes, she made her first visit to the mouth of their den. It wasn't easy since the opening was guarded by a solid lip, rock or hard packed earth, Anjeliqua couldn't tell, but it was slippery enough to frustrate her attempts. Until now, Mother had watched her with benign amusement, her tail whipping and arcing with pride at her offspring's determination along with relief that her kitten could not yet escape the den's safety.
Today, Mother decided that it was time to introduce Anjeliqua to the outdoors So she amplified Anjeliqua's clumsy scrabbling by nosing her over the edge of the den. Surprised, Anjeliqua tumbled out and rolled a little ways before coming to rest against the base of what looked like a cross between a tree and a huge strand of kelp. When she knocked against it, it yielded a bit, then bumped her back as it realigned itself. Anjeliqua felt she had been greeted by it, that there was sentience within it. The words "dwyld" and "guardian" popped into her mind, she nodded to it and tickled it with her long tail in her own greeting. Mother looked on approvingly and herself nodded to the Guardian.
Anjeliqua followed the wavy line of the Guardian's deep purple trunk up and up. It seemed to extend forever into a brilliant orange sky. Anjeliqua looked for the sources of light, remembering that there were two suns here. It was morning, one sun was behind the hill the den was in, light brightening the top of the Guardian's trunk, the other was at its zenith, shining down through an atmosphere thick enough to noticeably alter its rays. Angeliqua looked at her mother questioningly. In response, Mother's two eyes closed and the middle eye gazed intently at Angeliqua. She immediately understood that without the viscous atmosphere moderating the suns' double force, life would not be possible.
"The colour?" Anjeliqua asked, closing her two lower eyes and using her third eye to send the question.
"Iron", Mother replied. Anjeliqua felt her mother's surprise at her ability to use language so early. Mother caressed her with a stroke of her long tail, pleased and proud.
Angeliqua turned slowly around, curious to take it all in. Dirctly in front of the den was a small area covered in soft brown moss. Beyond the Guardian the ground dropped sharply off into a valley below. A green river slid through it cutting a gap through a low range of hills across the valley. Anjeliqua could see other kelp trees growing below them along with other types of vegetation. Scattered between the Guardian and the edge of the hill grew stumpy life forms ranging in colour from bright blue to pale pink, though most were shades of purple. Some were as large as a small bush, others the size of a flower - their shape reminded Anjeliqua of sea anemones. They had crowns of stubby arms set on short, thick trunks. The arms waved about volitionally. Anjeliqua looked at Mother, "Plants or animals?"
"Planz? Animuz?" she repeated, puzzled. "Living not dead" she corrected.
Anjeliqua cringed inside, reminded again that she was other, not the same. She turned away continuing her explorations.
Behind her lay the dark hole of the den within a hill that was actually a huge piece of what reminded Anjeliqua of dark green coral. Surrounding the den's mouth, covering the whole large mound above it and around it, many small irredescent creatures reached out of tiny holes. Anjeliqua padded over to nose at them, but they withdrew their delicate, fernlike arms as she approached. She made a game of trying to sneak up on them, but when she finally succeeded, had her nose stung. She mewled, shocked more than hurt.
Mother laughed, lightly touching Anjeliqua's nose with the tip of her tail. Anjeliqua looked at her, again the third eye spoke, "Zwylls, friends."
"Like the Guardian?"
Mother nodded and pounced playfully on top of her. They rolled around on the soft ground. The romp finished with Mother licking her all over. Anjeliqua thrummed with happiness, curled up in the suns' rays and napped, snug against her mother's side.
Anjeliqua awoke to the sound of singing, and sprang to her feet. Her mother was already awake, tensed in a crouched position looking upwards. Anjeliqua followed her stare and saw many small creatures moving high above them approaching across the valley below. Their song was beautiful, and visible - spirals of rainbow like colour emerged from each one, joining, like swirls of smoke, to rise above and behind them as they moved through the dense sound.
Their bodies were dark brown and small, fish like with huge dorsal and tail fins that waved and propelled them along in a swimming motion. Instead of a ventral fin, they had small appendages that, as they drew nearer, Anjeliqua could see were short legs with clawed feet.
Her delight in them was stilled by the anxiety she felt from Mother. This froze her in place, watching while the group swarmed lazily around the valley's rim as though looking for something. As they drew closer, Anjeliqua saw that the sound was coming from large open mouths with many sharp teeth. They had no eyes but huge nostrils. She could see the movement of the air as it was swept into the gaping holes. Instinctively she held her breath as they flew by, their rainbow sound engulfing the Guardian's frond only a few meters above them. Horrified, Anjeliqua saw the beautiful swirls shrivel the edges of the Guardian, dissolving parts of the frond into the air which was perceptibly thickened and inhaled by the perilous creatures. The Guardian's trunk lightened to a faint mauve where it had been touched. The Guardian quivered at the assault but stood firm.
It wasn't until the swarm had disappeared behind a curve in one of the far hills that Mother moved, nudging Anjeliqua towards the mouth of the den.
"Ulxtds, eaters," Mother told her once they'd regained the safety of the den. Anjeliqua understood that if she had moved or breathed, they would've felt it, descended upon her, held her in those awful teeth while the sound dissolved her. She shivered and wondered if the Guardian would be OK.
"Guardian will recover." Anjeliqua felt relieved.
Later, falling asleep, she wished she'd done a little more research on the other life forms on Paradiso.
Today, Mother decided that it was time to introduce Anjeliqua to the outdoors So she amplified Anjeliqua's clumsy scrabbling by nosing her over the edge of the den. Surprised, Anjeliqua tumbled out and rolled a little ways before coming to rest against the base of what looked like a cross between a tree and a huge strand of kelp. When she knocked against it, it yielded a bit, then bumped her back as it realigned itself. Anjeliqua felt she had been greeted by it, that there was sentience within it. The words "dwyld" and "guardian" popped into her mind, she nodded to it and tickled it with her long tail in her own greeting. Mother looked on approvingly and herself nodded to the Guardian.
Anjeliqua followed the wavy line of the Guardian's deep purple trunk up and up. It seemed to extend forever into a brilliant orange sky. Anjeliqua looked for the sources of light, remembering that there were two suns here. It was morning, one sun was behind the hill the den was in, light brightening the top of the Guardian's trunk, the other was at its zenith, shining down through an atmosphere thick enough to noticeably alter its rays. Angeliqua looked at her mother questioningly. In response, Mother's two eyes closed and the middle eye gazed intently at Angeliqua. She immediately understood that without the viscous atmosphere moderating the suns' double force, life would not be possible.
"The colour?" Anjeliqua asked, closing her two lower eyes and using her third eye to send the question.
"Iron", Mother replied. Anjeliqua felt her mother's surprise at her ability to use language so early. Mother caressed her with a stroke of her long tail, pleased and proud.
Angeliqua turned slowly around, curious to take it all in. Dirctly in front of the den was a small area covered in soft brown moss. Beyond the Guardian the ground dropped sharply off into a valley below. A green river slid through it cutting a gap through a low range of hills across the valley. Anjeliqua could see other kelp trees growing below them along with other types of vegetation. Scattered between the Guardian and the edge of the hill grew stumpy life forms ranging in colour from bright blue to pale pink, though most were shades of purple. Some were as large as a small bush, others the size of a flower - their shape reminded Anjeliqua of sea anemones. They had crowns of stubby arms set on short, thick trunks. The arms waved about volitionally. Anjeliqua looked at Mother, "Plants or animals?"
"Planz? Animuz?" she repeated, puzzled. "Living not dead" she corrected.
Anjeliqua cringed inside, reminded again that she was other, not the same. She turned away continuing her explorations.
Behind her lay the dark hole of the den within a hill that was actually a huge piece of what reminded Anjeliqua of dark green coral. Surrounding the den's mouth, covering the whole large mound above it and around it, many small irredescent creatures reached out of tiny holes. Anjeliqua padded over to nose at them, but they withdrew their delicate, fernlike arms as she approached. She made a game of trying to sneak up on them, but when she finally succeeded, had her nose stung. She mewled, shocked more than hurt.
Mother laughed, lightly touching Anjeliqua's nose with the tip of her tail. Anjeliqua looked at her, again the third eye spoke, "Zwylls, friends."
"Like the Guardian?"
Mother nodded and pounced playfully on top of her. They rolled around on the soft ground. The romp finished with Mother licking her all over. Anjeliqua thrummed with happiness, curled up in the suns' rays and napped, snug against her mother's side.
Anjeliqua awoke to the sound of singing, and sprang to her feet. Her mother was already awake, tensed in a crouched position looking upwards. Anjeliqua followed her stare and saw many small creatures moving high above them approaching across the valley below. Their song was beautiful, and visible - spirals of rainbow like colour emerged from each one, joining, like swirls of smoke, to rise above and behind them as they moved through the dense sound.
Their bodies were dark brown and small, fish like with huge dorsal and tail fins that waved and propelled them along in a swimming motion. Instead of a ventral fin, they had small appendages that, as they drew nearer, Anjeliqua could see were short legs with clawed feet.
Her delight in them was stilled by the anxiety she felt from Mother. This froze her in place, watching while the group swarmed lazily around the valley's rim as though looking for something. As they drew closer, Anjeliqua saw that the sound was coming from large open mouths with many sharp teeth. They had no eyes but huge nostrils. She could see the movement of the air as it was swept into the gaping holes. Instinctively she held her breath as they flew by, their rainbow sound engulfing the Guardian's frond only a few meters above them. Horrified, Anjeliqua saw the beautiful swirls shrivel the edges of the Guardian, dissolving parts of the frond into the air which was perceptibly thickened and inhaled by the perilous creatures. The Guardian's trunk lightened to a faint mauve where it had been touched. The Guardian quivered at the assault but stood firm.
It wasn't until the swarm had disappeared behind a curve in one of the far hills that Mother moved, nudging Anjeliqua towards the mouth of the den.
"Ulxtds, eaters," Mother told her once they'd regained the safety of the den. Anjeliqua understood that if she had moved or breathed, they would've felt it, descended upon her, held her in those awful teeth while the sound dissolved her. She shivered and wondered if the Guardian would be OK.
"Guardian will recover." Anjeliqua felt relieved.
Later, falling asleep, she wished she'd done a little more research on the other life forms on Paradiso.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
(2) Eyes Opened Wide
The day her eyes opened for the first time on Paradiso was the last day Anjeliqua consciously thought of Inbetween and the Majester. It wasn't that she would forget them entirely, just that the imminence of her sensations and the events in this new life would bury them somewhere deep inside her. The Experiencer part would become dominant. Even so, between waking and sleep, the Observer would sometimes remind her of herself, of the Majester and of Inbetween.
The day before she opened her eyes she had begun to get restless and frustrated at not being able to see her surroundings. Her mother often left her alone and she was the only kitten. She had strained her ears and could make out faint rustlings and thrubbings that seemed muted and far away. She could smell differences in the air just before her mother returned to her, and feel periods of coolness and warmth through the fur covering her body that were probably related to periods of daylight and nighttime. She had begun to call the mother, Mother, in her mind, which at first had reminded her, with a pang, of her first and human mother.
She had wondered if she would find any other incarnated humans on this planet. Anjeliqua had only found two others among the animals of her past four lives - a male wolf and the bird that had eaten her when she'd been a moth. She shivered to remember it - the realization just before the end that behind the devouring beak and beady eyes was a human soul like hers was awful to her. She had called out to it, but it was too late - she had felt the bird's shocked regret the instant before darkness descended. Well, she'd reminded herself, in this world she would be doing the devouring, although she would remember to ask her prey before eating them if they were human.
She hoped that her difference from the other life forms here would not cause problems as it had done occassionally in her past incarnations. The other organisms often sensed it - the moths had noticed right away and had rejected her. Anjeliqua figured, in retrospect, that she should've known better, after all, moths rely so heavily on pheromes for communication, of course they'd notice her difference right away.
She had often wished that she had been like the other animals, without an Observer. Not having an Observer seemed an advantage to Anjeliqua - some of the wisest individuals she had encountered were animals, unhindered by the Observer's thoughts of self and eternity. Anjeliqua had sighed with the futility of wishing such things.
Anyway, the day her eyes opened for the first time she had again been awakened by a bad dream. They would continue throughout her stay on Paradiso, their familiarity, derived as they were from remembered elements of prior lives, would remind her that she was ever and forever different, even when her Experiencer tried to dismiss them as random images. Today her mewling sounds of fear drew Mother to her and brought again the comfort of licking tongue and sweet milk. But today, after her breakfast, when Mother's tongue began cleaning her face, it ended up licking open her eyes.
Anjeliqua blinked repeatedly. Though the light was filtered through an atmosphere that seemed almost liquid, it still dazzled her. She looked up into her Mother's face and saw three eyes fixing her with a kindly stare. A short rumble of Hello accompanied the welcoming gaze. The face had a cat's shape, the nose and mouth were similar to a house cat's, two ears, larger and set a little lower on the head. The third eye sat between the two ears. Whiskers not only covered the snout, but also extended around the sides and top of the head looking much like a bonnet-shaped halo due to the diffuse light emanating from somewhere behind Mother's head.
Anjeliqua looked around her in wonder. The light seemed to dance and shimmer as it shone on the ground beside her and she was reminded of light travelling through water. She and her Mother were in a cozy den, the floor lined by some sort of greenish fur, the walls smoothed out and glistening like polished stone. She looked again at her mother and noticed that her fur was long and a most lovely shade of emerald green, along her back and the length of her tail were many small purple spots, reminiscent of leopard's spots, thought Anjeliqua. The tail itself was twice as long as an earth cat's, it curled and uncurled expressively as the mother regarded her new offspring. A flood of fond gratefulness engulfed Anjeliqua and was immediately expressed with the now familiar thrumming as she waddled forward to bury her face between her mother's front paws.
The day before she opened her eyes she had begun to get restless and frustrated at not being able to see her surroundings. Her mother often left her alone and she was the only kitten. She had strained her ears and could make out faint rustlings and thrubbings that seemed muted and far away. She could smell differences in the air just before her mother returned to her, and feel periods of coolness and warmth through the fur covering her body that were probably related to periods of daylight and nighttime. She had begun to call the mother, Mother, in her mind, which at first had reminded her, with a pang, of her first and human mother.
She had wondered if she would find any other incarnated humans on this planet. Anjeliqua had only found two others among the animals of her past four lives - a male wolf and the bird that had eaten her when she'd been a moth. She shivered to remember it - the realization just before the end that behind the devouring beak and beady eyes was a human soul like hers was awful to her. She had called out to it, but it was too late - she had felt the bird's shocked regret the instant before darkness descended. Well, she'd reminded herself, in this world she would be doing the devouring, although she would remember to ask her prey before eating them if they were human.
She hoped that her difference from the other life forms here would not cause problems as it had done occassionally in her past incarnations. The other organisms often sensed it - the moths had noticed right away and had rejected her. Anjeliqua figured, in retrospect, that she should've known better, after all, moths rely so heavily on pheromes for communication, of course they'd notice her difference right away.
She had often wished that she had been like the other animals, without an Observer. Not having an Observer seemed an advantage to Anjeliqua - some of the wisest individuals she had encountered were animals, unhindered by the Observer's thoughts of self and eternity. Anjeliqua had sighed with the futility of wishing such things.
Anyway, the day her eyes opened for the first time she had again been awakened by a bad dream. They would continue throughout her stay on Paradiso, their familiarity, derived as they were from remembered elements of prior lives, would remind her that she was ever and forever different, even when her Experiencer tried to dismiss them as random images. Today her mewling sounds of fear drew Mother to her and brought again the comfort of licking tongue and sweet milk. But today, after her breakfast, when Mother's tongue began cleaning her face, it ended up licking open her eyes.
Anjeliqua blinked repeatedly. Though the light was filtered through an atmosphere that seemed almost liquid, it still dazzled her. She looked up into her Mother's face and saw three eyes fixing her with a kindly stare. A short rumble of Hello accompanied the welcoming gaze. The face had a cat's shape, the nose and mouth were similar to a house cat's, two ears, larger and set a little lower on the head. The third eye sat between the two ears. Whiskers not only covered the snout, but also extended around the sides and top of the head looking much like a bonnet-shaped halo due to the diffuse light emanating from somewhere behind Mother's head.
Anjeliqua looked around her in wonder. The light seemed to dance and shimmer as it shone on the ground beside her and she was reminded of light travelling through water. She and her Mother were in a cozy den, the floor lined by some sort of greenish fur, the walls smoothed out and glistening like polished stone. She looked again at her mother and noticed that her fur was long and a most lovely shade of emerald green, along her back and the length of her tail were many small purple spots, reminiscent of leopard's spots, thought Anjeliqua. The tail itself was twice as long as an earth cat's, it curled and uncurled expressively as the mother regarded her new offspring. A flood of fond gratefulness engulfed Anjeliqua and was immediately expressed with the now familiar thrumming as she waddled forward to bury her face between her mother's front paws.
Monday, January 5, 2009
(1) Rebirth on Planet Paradiso
Groggily Anjeliqua rolled over upon awakening. Relief flooded her as she realized she no longer had the soft downy wings of a moth. "That was a poor choice," she admonished herself.
Anjeliqua felt her new body with admiration and eager anticipation. It would be clumsy until she had outgrown the kittenish shape she'd started this incarnation with. Still, based on the life form charts she'd studied before choosing this one, she was sure that she'd really enjoy her life this time around. New body, new planet, new experiences.
For one thing, being on top of the food chain again was a blessed relief. She shuddered at her last memory before the Inbetween and then the Waking in this new world. Intense pain and panic had engulfed her and she had fluttered in a futile effort to escape her murderer's vise-like hold, then sudden darkness before the soft light of Inbetween.
Her new mother's quick raspy tongue quieted her shuddering thoughts and awakened a thirst in Anjeliqua. She summoned all her strength to push her pudgy, still floppy body towards the sensation of warmth and the sound of thrumming, finding at last the soft underbelly of the mother, and a teat to latch on to. Delirious delight filled her along with the sweet liquid pouring into her mouth. She swallowed thankfully and found herself kneading the furry wall of her mother's belly. Soon she felt her throat vibrate. It emitted a strange thrumming sound which felt lovely and relaxed her until she fell unwilling into sleep.
The dreams were the only down side to repeated incarnations. It didn't happen to everyone, or so the Majester informed her, she was among the 3% who had them. During her stay in Inbetween three incarnations ago, Anjeliqua had spend what felt like days but were probably only nanoseconds, with the Majester, asking about these very dreams. This was only her fifth incarnation since leaving her human body on Earth behind. She'd been very surprised by Inbetween and the Majester, having believed up until then that only oblivion faced the dead. However, during that first visit, the Majester had explained, rather kindly, she thought, that the soul actually persisted, weighing in at roughly seven ounces, the weight lost by the body when a person died.
It also surprised her that there were so many alien life forms available to her along with the life-supporting planetary systems they lived on. This was her first extra planetary incarnation and she felt quite ready for it. Her first incarnations had been spent living as her favourite animals - a wolf, a horse and a whale - but the actual experiences had not been anything like what she'd imagined while in her human form. All of them lived far too long and had far too boring lives, except for the whale whose life had been rife with tragedy.
Her frustration with these first lives had contributed to her choice to come back as a moth for incarnation number four, despite the Majester's cautioning. She had figured that at least it would be mercifully short, and besides, she had been keen to know what flying with your own wings felt like.
Anjeliqua felt her new body with admiration and eager anticipation. It would be clumsy until she had outgrown the kittenish shape she'd started this incarnation with. Still, based on the life form charts she'd studied before choosing this one, she was sure that she'd really enjoy her life this time around. New body, new planet, new experiences.
For one thing, being on top of the food chain again was a blessed relief. She shuddered at her last memory before the Inbetween and then the Waking in this new world. Intense pain and panic had engulfed her and she had fluttered in a futile effort to escape her murderer's vise-like hold, then sudden darkness before the soft light of Inbetween.
Her new mother's quick raspy tongue quieted her shuddering thoughts and awakened a thirst in Anjeliqua. She summoned all her strength to push her pudgy, still floppy body towards the sensation of warmth and the sound of thrumming, finding at last the soft underbelly of the mother, and a teat to latch on to. Delirious delight filled her along with the sweet liquid pouring into her mouth. She swallowed thankfully and found herself kneading the furry wall of her mother's belly. Soon she felt her throat vibrate. It emitted a strange thrumming sound which felt lovely and relaxed her until she fell unwilling into sleep.
The dreams were the only down side to repeated incarnations. It didn't happen to everyone, or so the Majester informed her, she was among the 3% who had them. During her stay in Inbetween three incarnations ago, Anjeliqua had spend what felt like days but were probably only nanoseconds, with the Majester, asking about these very dreams. This was only her fifth incarnation since leaving her human body on Earth behind. She'd been very surprised by Inbetween and the Majester, having believed up until then that only oblivion faced the dead. However, during that first visit, the Majester had explained, rather kindly, she thought, that the soul actually persisted, weighing in at roughly seven ounces, the weight lost by the body when a person died.
It also surprised her that there were so many alien life forms available to her along with the life-supporting planetary systems they lived on. This was her first extra planetary incarnation and she felt quite ready for it. Her first incarnations had been spent living as her favourite animals - a wolf, a horse and a whale - but the actual experiences had not been anything like what she'd imagined while in her human form. All of them lived far too long and had far too boring lives, except for the whale whose life had been rife with tragedy.
Her frustration with these first lives had contributed to her choice to come back as a moth for incarnation number four, despite the Majester's cautioning. She had figured that at least it would be mercifully short, and besides, she had been keen to know what flying with your own wings felt like.
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